Alicia Keys says a realization about her ‘own triggers’ shaped the way she parents

• Alicia Keys says her kids help her recognize and heal her own emotional triggers.
• While parents often project worries onto kids, the singer said it's crucial to know when to step back.
• "I think that's why they're the most beautiful teachers because they bring to light what we have to see in ourselves," she said.

Alicia Keys, 44, says having kids has taught her some lessons about herself.

During an appearance on Sunday's episode of "The Drew Barrymore Show," Keys spoke about being a mother and how it has made her more introspective.

When host Drew Barrymore said that she's the type to "care myself to death" when it comes to parenting and asked Keys for advice, Keys said the goal is to embrace the experience.

"You have your instinct, and you know what you feel. And I think we also do have to learn how to separate ourselves from them, because I think that's a big point that you're bringing up," Keys told Barrymore.

The "Empire State of Mind" singer and her husband, Swizz Beatz, have a blended family of five kids, three of whom are from his previous relationships.

While it might be common for parents to project their worries onto their kids, Keys said it's important to recognize when to step back.

"Like, naturally, we do have our own triggers, and we do have our own histories and things that we're working through," Keys said. "And so knowing that they're so pure, you know, knowing that they are a clean slate and a pureness, we can almost take a step and say, 'Hold on, that's mine. That's not theirs. Let me just take a breather.'"

The singer added that it might be a "beautiful way" for parents to become conscious of unresolved issues they're personally working through.

"It's just like these things, they bring up things in you, and you're like, 'Ah, wait a minute. Is that me, though? It's probably me,'" Keys said.

"I think that's why they're the most beautiful teachers because they bring to light what we have to see in ourselves," she added.

Speaking to Bustle in 2021, Keys said that becoming a mother is "the reason I came into myself."

"I know for sure that prior to it, I still didn't know myself. I still didn't understand my own worth and importance," she said.

That same introspection is something she also tries to pass on to her kids.

In 2024, Keys told People that she encourages her kids to share their thoughts and trust their own intuition.

"If you don't know what you think or what you feel, it's going to be hard for you. I feel like I've spent a lot of time not fully understanding or not trusting what I felt, and so I want to teach them to trust their instincts."