I’ve been a student in the UK for 6 years. But my family in the US is getting older, and I’m torn about moving back to be with them.

When deciding where to go for college, it was an easy decision to go to the UK, as I also hold a British passport. But where I grew up, it’s not common to go abroad for college. Most of my peers stayed in the South — even moving to New England was considered far.

I applied to a few safety schools in the US but got accepted to the University of Edinburgh. In 2018, I packed my bags and moved to Scotland.

I enjoyed student life in Scotland

At Edinburgh, I could study what I wanted — History — and didn’t have to fiddle with other subjects, which would have been required at most liberal arts programs in the US.

The price was also a huge advantage. I paid around $24,500 a year, compared to $67,446 for out-of-state tuition at the University of Chicago, where I had also applied.

As a student under 22, I could travel for free by bus throughout Scotland.

The advantage of studying there was also being able to experience new cultures and visit other European countries.

After graduating, I had no desire to return to the US

I wanted to pursue a master’s in medieval history. Although there are so many great departments in the US for religious studies and medieval history, my mentors at school had all studied at Oxbridge — colleges across Oxford and Cambridge. So, in 2022, I followed their advice and pursued a master’s in Medieval History at the University of Oxford.

When I finished my master’s this year, I still wasn’t ready to leave. I didn’t want to return to the US because all my friends were in the UK. If I returned, I would have to start again to build connections and friendships.

I was in this middle ground where I wished I could just pack up everything and move everything in my life altogether at once. That’s the difficulty of expat life — there’s the US in the UK version of myself, and I’m always teetering between two places.

Looking back, I cringe at how obsessed I was with the UK

I was fascinated by William Shakespeare’s “Richard III” and adored “Horrible Histories” — a British children’s TV show about historical events — and other media that came from the UK.

When you romanticize a place, you think it can do no wrong. After my move, I realized that the UK does not have the glowing hearts around it as I had pictured. It has its quirks and flaws — but I still love it.

When I first got here and felt frustrated about life in the UK, I would remember being a child and seeing a double-decker bus — a symbol of the UK from an international perspective.

I’d look at it intently and think, “This is the magic of the UK. This is where I wanted to be.”

I plan to stay in the UK to further my studies

In September, I will start my Ph.D. in Classics at King’s College London.

Although I used to think that I’d stay in the UK, I’ve recently started to think about how my family members are getting old.

I miss my family. I call and text them all the time, and my parents come to visit every so often. As a student, I’ve had the flexibility to go home around the December holidays. Sometimes, I don’t even realize how long it’s been since I’ve seen them in person.

I have four more years in the UK to complete my Ph.D, and I know the US will always be there for me. So, I’m open to returning at some point.

Do you have a story about choosing to attend college outside the US that you want to share? Get in touch with the reporter, Erin: eliam@businessinsider.com.